(Audio version below) Last week I had put the boys to bed as I normally do. Zeke was laying in his bed, and Zane was in our room in his crib. I was downstairs cleaning up for the day and hanging out with my best friend Ashley.
I had the monitor on as always and we did not hear any crazy noises or anything out of the ordinary. I was getting the monitor to go upstairs for the night and when I looked at Zeke's room I did not see him...anywhere. I completely panicked and started crying in concern. As I was rushing up the stairs all I could think of was that someone had taken him. I saw the upstairs gate to the stairs was still closed so I felt a bit of relief. Then I remembered his room has a window, but I always keep it locked. I got inside of his room and still did not see him. I looked under the bed and still did not see him. All of a sudden he woke up and starting crawling out from under his bed. He was up against the wall and towards the top so when I had checked I couldn't see him. Instant relief flooded my body. It took me a few hours to calm down from the incident. In that time I started thinking how silly it was for me to have freaked out. Why would I have been so scared? Why was I concerned someone had taken him? All of these thoughts I had were so irrational and dumb. As I continued to reflect on what had happened, I realized that part of motherhood is that we have a lot of irrational fears. We worry about things that people would never think of, or if someone would have told us before kids, we would have thought they were insane. I am sure as you are reading this you can think of some irrational fears you have had or you continue to have consistently. I am here to remind you that you are a Mother that loves your children dearly. Part of your job is to be concerned for them, even when it may not be necessary. You will worry about things that your significant other may think is silly. All of that is okay. Your thoughts, concerns, worries and irrational fears are so valid. All we can do is ensure that we have the proper coping mechanisms so our anxiety does not get out of control. Having a strong support system of other Moms that understand is also critical.
Keep being that fierce mama bear to your littles. When it comes to caring for your children, you can never care for them or love them too much. Let people think whatever they are going to think. Know that your kids are loved, safe and they are blessed to have you as their mama.